Sunday, May 31, 2015

Search Party

When my brother was little and he couldn’t find something (like a movie) in the house he would say “Can we go on a search party to find the video game I lost?” That explains my whole month in a nutshell, because I have been searching a lot in 3 different areas: housing, a roommate and acceptance.  I need to move out of my apartment/condo because the people that own it want to sell it. This is bittersweet for me. My apartment holds  a lot of memories I want to remember because I’ve been in this particular building for a total of six years even though I’ve been in 2 different apartments. I also developed a strong friendship with two people I will never forget.  Another thing I have been searching for is a perfect roommate. No one can replace Tori or Norine and the memories shared between us, but I’m looking for a roommate who is not just a roommate but a Shared Living Companion who can also help me with a lot of my daily living needs.  This is a little different than the arrangement that I had before. The people that are helping me find this Shared Living Companion need to be selective and careful.  Some of the qualities that they are searching for is someone who is clean, likes to have fun, is flexible in what they are available to do from day-to-day and their available hours. I like to travel so living with someone who wants to travel is a plus and someone who likes dogs. I don’t think I will be able to have Teddy back living with me again, but I wouldn’t mind sharing the responsibility of taking care of another fury friend. If you know of someone, please share their contact info with me.
The other thing I have been searching for is not an actual thing but it is acceptance that I will never be able to visit the house I grew up in.  During the winter months it really didn’t bother me, but this time of year it bothers me because I loved the garden and the ability to dance freely outside and on the driveway or the deck.  Sometimes it’s the little things in life that you really miss. There is a song called, “The House that Build Me.” by Miranda Lambert that I love. It sums up how I feel about the Highland Rd House. 
You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can.
I got lost in this whole world and forgot who I am.
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing.
Out here its like I'm someone else,
I thought that maybe I could find myself.
If I could walk around I swear I'll leave.
Won't take nothing but a memory
from the house that built me.
So I guess you could say that I have been on a search all month but not necessarily a party like my brother called it. -- it hasn’t all been fun like a party. 
Finally, my friends who are really helping me and giving me ideas about future housing are friends from Access Living. It is a place where people with all types of disabilities come together to enjoy activities and ask each other questions. It’s through this once a month program that I found out about accessible housing. It is events like this that help me stay positive and embrace life the way it is. I have also learned that if you search a lot at once it can be overwhelming; so my advice to you would be if you are looking for the answer to a question or a place to live, take time. I know it isn’t always possible but if you give yourself small breaks, the task will be less daunting. I hope this is helpful and may your search begin!

 I also want to thank all of you who made efforts to keep the IAMC funded with the State of Illinois.  For now we have our funding back. I will keep you posted.  I am extremely grateful for all of your support and my employment. 

With love,