Thursday, December 9, 2010

Counting My Blessings...

This past month has not been the greatest for me emotionally. I am not telling you this so you can feel sorry for me, just to be realistic because I feel it is important to share the good and the bad with you, my readers. Even though I have been in the purple pad for quite some time now there are still periods of time when I think, did I make the right decision to be here? I am homesick. Should I be home for good? Can I handle this? This is too much for me. Am I good enough? With that said I am very greatful for the opportunities I had this month. I went to a conference for the second year in a row called Speak Up and Speak Out. It is a wonderful opportunity for people with disabilities to learn from each other, sell different products and have fun. Both years I had an amazing time! I also went to a conference for the IAMC. It was really nice because I was able to enjoy myself and it didn’t feel like work at all. At the conference we focused on two planning tools for the future called path and maps. It was also a wonderful opportunity to network with others, because like Speak Up and Speak Out we were from all over the state of Illinois. This month I was able to cross something off my bucket list and that is choreograph a dance. It was a lot of fun to see it unfold, my dancers worked very hard. We had an informal showing and I hope to have it in a real performance soon. That would be like icing on the cake. Thank you to those who came and watched. This past week I had a chance to go down town and talk to first year medical students about my life, my challenges, cerebral palsy and other things. For Thanksgiving, my family and I went to St. Louis. It was a yummy time had by all. Brimer’s, thanks for all the delicious food and early Hanukkah Gifts. Now, you might be wondering, did I get my wheelchair yet? No, but I am getting there. This weekend I participated in a singles auction at the Keep On Keeping On's Santa Cause holiday fundraiser to help raise money for my new chair. It was a big success and a lot of fun! Thank you KOKO and all of you who have donated so far and/or came to see me at the event! I feel so blessed that so many people care. So I am trying to count my blessings and remind myself that I am who I am for a reason. I encourage you to do the same, do something from your heart this holiday season, make something, donate clothes, toys, money, volunteer, call or write to someone you haven’t been in touch with for a while. Whatever you want to do. I am going to end by sharing this song because it helps me when I am down and I think it helps to express my message this month.

The stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful

And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
I'd never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Love to all and happy holidays!

-Jessi